Wednesday, 9 February 2011


“That word doesn’t mean what you think it means.”

“Oh, so just cos I ain’t a city boy I don’t know what I mean?”

“You know what you mean. I know what you mean. ‘Bespoke’ is not what you mean.”

“So now you know me business better than me?”

“No, but... my signs are bespoke; chickens... are not.”

“Listen, kid, poultry farming ain’t what it used to be. If I says me chickens are bespoke, they’re bespoke.”

“But, they’re chickens. Chickens happen, you don’t tailor-make them.”

“I do. Guaranteed to the millimetre, to the pantone. Bespoke chickens. It’s the future.”


  1. This is a most perplexing regional accent. Where is this person from?

  2. Ruralania. You probably wouldn't know it. It's a new committee-led county, mostly farmland, made from areas that recently seceded from Suffolk, Cambridgeshire and Essex.

  3. I liked how it sounded when I read it aloud. I didn't recognized the accent, but it was compelling. What attracted me the most was the idea of figuring out why these two individuals would be having this conversation. And I almost agree with our peculiar chicken farmer, now a days chicken seem to be bespoke ^_^

  4. I like the Lydia Davis tone your tale holds: simple, but not really. It is about the words, but the theme runs deeper. Very smartly written. It reminded me of stories as amazing as "Passing Wind" and "For Sixty Scents".

  5. @ G.K. it's genetic modification gone mad! ;)

    @Magaly, thank you. I'm not familiar with Lydia Davis (she's not so well known over here, I think). But a comparison to an established writer is a great compliment. =)

  6. I dug it :) not sure about bespoke signs, unless that's part of the joke and I'm being thick.

  7. Thanks, Tommy. =)

    You're not missing anything. Traditionally bespoke would refer to men's tailoring, but in modern usage it just means custom-made. So where the client can specify the dimensions, material, design etc. of a sign it can be considered bespoke. =)