Sunday, 28 August 2011


Putting the pieces together. Trying to capture the crime. Recapture.

Spilt vodka, broken bottles, Smirnoff, shot, shot, have another shot, glass shatters. Fat fingers select a suitable sliver, a sharp shard to stroke her soft, shuddering skin.

The machine stutters with staccato bursts of frenzied freeze-frames, too fast, faster.

Green olives, red pimento pips, cocktail sticks, stuck, pricked. A rash of red on flinching flesh. Blood beading, bleeding.

The doc adjusts the dials, drips adrenalin into the brain bowl.

The murder victim’s mind is a jagged jigsaw.

The screen slows, shows scenes...

Flickers... Flashes... Finally... A face.

Fucker. Found you.

(Originally written for Lily Childs' Friday Prediction)


  1. Really like the last line. Excellent use of sentences and sentence fragments.

  2. Well that's not going to end well for them. I liked the rush of this.

  3. Nice one, echoes of a kind of "After-the-event" Minority report.

  4. Thanks, Sonia. I actually ummed and ahhed over the rude word, but it was right, so it stayed. =)

    Thank you, John. It's fun to play with alliteration in the shorter form, it helps push things to a crescendo.

    And thanks, Steve. I hadn't thought of that, but definitely got that kind of feel. =)

  5. I enjoyed putting together the jigsaw puzzle alongside the doctor. :) You always manage to use just the right words to beautifully set the stage.

  6. This piece was very visual. I imagined the pices falling into place.

  7. Thanks, Zaiure, Lara. I guess I'm trying to build two scenes at once, I'm glad it worked. =)

  8. Great feel to the piece- like trying to get that vital nugget from the mess of images before the brain dies.

  9. Thanks, Bev. Exactly, I'm pretty sure a murder victim's thoughts are not going to be the most coherent.